Saturday, May 8, 2010

I'll Never

I spent the majority of my 20's with an unwavering fear of commitment. The minute I felt a guy start to get too close I bolted. This fact was pointed out to me by a few of my friends from time to time but I always shrugged it off. I was happy in my little "commitment phobic" world.  At my fathers' funeral  I stood by my mom while she brushed his cheek and just smiled. I knew she was thinking of all the good memories he and her had made together. I on the other hand was hit with an overwhelming feeling of grief for her, what would she do now that her high school sweetheart was gone? It was after this event in my life that I started to reevaluate relationships. Maybe being with one person for longer than two weeks wouldn't be so bad.

Then I met Adam (for the second's a long story) and it all just fell into place. I wasn't afraid anymore and I let him get as close to me as he wanted. Looking back on it now maybe we took things too fast. Perhaps we should have worked through some of the early relationship issues that befall most couples in the early days instead of letting them fester for months and months until they just explode into one huge fight. We've had our ups and downs as all couples have but one thing is the same today as it was almost four and a half years ago...I don't run from commitment anymore.

1 comment:

  1. i love you and am grateful you didn't push me away! ;)